Bits o' Drabble

HOW 'BOUT DEM DODJAHS?

That is all, we return you to your normal, busy lives.

Here's a funny article from the Telegraph where Dan Brown's books are, apparently, beta'd. Says an Edinburgh professor of linguistic: "Brown's writing is not just bad; it is staggeringly, clumsily, thoughtlessly, almost ingeniously bad." I don't know if Dan Brown is that terrible, judging by how well received he is by the public.

My personal favorites (in other words, much like things I have written before):

• "The Knights Templar were warriors," Teabing reminded, the sound of his aluminum crutches echoing in this reverberant space.
• As a boy, Langdon had fallen down an abandoned well shaft and almost died treading water in the narrow space for hours before being rescued. Since then, he'd suffered a haunting phobia of enclosed spaces - elevators, subways, squash courts.

So inspired, I shall write! How shall I begin? Ah. "It was a dark and stormy night..."

Well, I did say I was going to post some photos of my trip to Fenway Park and here's the view from my seat in the right field grandstands. That big black blotch on the right is the pole I was sitting behind. Yes, obstructed view, but it wasn't nearly a tenth as bad as I thought it was going to be; in fact, it was nice to have the pole there because there was more leg room to stretch out. Fenway sure is "intimate" (aka tight).

The weather was beautiful, I didn't even need the sweatshirt I brought and it was a pleasant walk to and from to the subway, despite getting lost on the way back--my coworker and I ended up getting back on the train at Prudential after a "scenic" walk through the fens.

The rest of the trip? A comic book store, a quick walk past BU, and then some souvie shopping at Barnes & Noble. I also bought the obligatory Sox cap (more on that in a later post).

Click the pic to get to the original and a set of the rest of the photos.

FINALLY.

SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPP

*airplanes around the room*

...like a side of pork on a BBQ spit.

Yeah, I'm still alive. Yeah, I'm still employed. Yeah, I've been busy.

I'm way behind, I owe rls the Boston Fenway Post. Let me just say that they don't do baseball in Boston like we do in Cali. Like, whoa.

Off to DC in the morning for business and I will either come back with a million dollar project in hand for the company, or I will be looking for another job (j/k: I'll probably be shuffled to another task within the company--plenty of work to go around). Still, anybody know what the health benefits are for Coffee Bean barristas?

Peace unto you, flist.

Sweet Caroline? Does somebody want to explain this to me?

That's Cuba's Angel Matos, an Olympic Taekwondo athlete, kicked a referee in the head after being DQ'd. Nice. Said ref required stitches in his lip. The World Taekwondo Federation (WTF) is recommending a lifetime ban for Matos and his coach.

"We didn't expect anything like what you have witnessed to occur," said WTF secretary general Yang Jin-suk. "I am at a loss for words."

You got that right. I, too, would be at a loss for words right now if I was the secretary general of WTF.

This is a shameful act, disgracing yourself, your team, your country.

Okay, he might not be the Professor of Yore and Lore, but he is better than the rookies and a veteran presence is sorely needed.

Dang.

ETA: "It's GREG Maddux you lummox."

Burnt out today. No commentary. Will be back tomorrow.

By the way, Nastia was robbed. ROBBED. Is there any more random way of breaking a tie than that? I could swear I was in Las Vegas at the Circus Circus coffee shop drinking a cup of Joe, sawing at the wafer-thin 1.99 Porterhouse and eggs special watching the keno numbers light up on the board with a grease pencil in hand.

"Oh, 8...15...32...there's 20...and 9.1! 9.0! 9.1! I win!"

It was like they just threw each athlete's scores into a hat, mixed them up, and let each athlete pick one at random. Better would have been rock-paper-scissors--at least that's a contest. Soccer has a shootout so maybe they could have done something gymnastic-y for 30 seconds to impress the judges. Heck, let them compete in one of the ancient Olympic competitions--Greco-Roman wrestling. Clinch, hold, lock, and pin their way to a gold.

But, no, they do what is in its essentials, the gymnatic equivalent of high spade in the hole splits the pot. No, thank you. The scoring in this Olympics has been confusing and almost counter-intuitive. How can you LAND ON YOUR KNEES AND STILL WIN SILVER?

And I still think the Chinese girls look like they belong in a Beverly Cleary novel.

So I guess I'm not so burned out that I'm still good for a bit of rantage.

Peace, out.

Amid all the cheering for the athletes and the enjoyment of the games, we should never lose site of the reality that China is as driven home by an article on China's purported plan to allow protesters.

The applicants? 77 of them for various causes, not the obvious ones we might think of (Tibet, religious oppression), but things such as development projects displacing residents, homeless, welfare.

How many of these protests have been approved? Zero.

Rights groups and relatives have said some applicants were immediately taken away by security agents after applying to hold a rally...

Now that's sort of chilling with a I-can't-believe-this-happens-in-the-21st-Century sort of way. The Chinese government response? As Wang Wei, VP of China's Olympic organizing committee said,

"We think that you do not really understand China's reality. China has its own version and way of exercising our democracy."

Their own version apparently involves rubber hoses, black cars, and state run media. Democracy, freedom, or rights in China?

Not bloody likely in my lifetime.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???

*AIRPLANES AROUND ROOM*

*KERMIT THE FROG SCREAMING*

...I watched the women's all-around this evening. At every turn, it seemed the world and its evil-minion-proxies were against Shawn and Nastia. Logic (and the announcers) could not explain the inexplicable scores even in the face of the Chinese mistakes and American triumphs.

"IT'S FIXED!" Shaking my yellow fist at the glowing blue screen, I uttered all manner of plots and conspiracies involving Nellie Kim, the Chinese, the Illumanati, an alien with velcro, and the grassy knoll.

Even remembrances of Michael Phelps' domination in the 200 IM, a race I judged to be his toughest remaining, and Lochte/Piersol going 1-2 in the 200 backstroke could not quell the seething anger I held within.

It wouldn't be. Hard work would not triumph over petty and parochial politics. We would be robbed yet again by jealous would-be superpowers. And I hadn't even thought about the IOC's yanking of softball and baseball from the 2012 games.

Having worked myself into a good froth, I was ready for the last two events.

And then...Nastia absolutely kills the beam and floor. She owns it. Dominates. She kicks sand in their 90-pound-weakling faces, steals their girls, and rips the back cover ad from their comic books. Charlie Atlas wouldn't be able to save them now.

And so, breathing a sigh of relief, I turned my attentions back to determining and proving China's gymnasts are not eligible to drive.

How was your night?

First, Warner Brothers is going to push Harry Potter and the Half Blood Price to July 2009 rather than release it this November. Sorry folks, we're all going to have to wait eight more months before we can get our Potter!crack. Why is WB doing this? The almighty dollar and the prospect of increased box office take, of course.

Next year's summer lineup is expected to be sparse because that's when most of the films that would have been made during the writers' strike would be released. Without a strong summer lineup, "Potter" has a better chance of raking in more money, studio officials said.

Does it get worse? Fear not, dear readers, of course it does! Now I find out Deathly Hallows will be in TWO installments.

Warner plans to unfold its adaptation of the seventh Potter film, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," in two parts, to be released in November 2010 and May 2011.

Why? Not because it's huge. If it were so jam-packed, how come they didn't do Order of the Phoenix or Goblet of Fire as a two-parter? The deep, dark suspicious me believes They (or their closely related co-conspirators, Them) wish to keep the franchise and associated revenue and merchandising going. Pure and simple. Money, money, money. Sho' me th' money.

Having MORE Harry Potter could be enjoyable--depending on how DH turns out. My deepest fear is DH becomes the Matrix Reloaded/Revolutions of the next decade. Blah.

I also wish They/Them weren't so blatant in taking my money.

Apparently, there is a case to be made for under-aged Chinese gymnasts, as ESPN is reporting the Chinese organ, Xinhua, itself reported He Kexin was 13. Thus, ESPN concludes, she would have been "ineligible to be on the team that won a gold medal".

Interestingly enough and predictably, mums-the-word:

The Associated Press found the Xinhua report on the site Thursday morning and saved a copy of the page. Later that afternoon, the Web site was still working but the page was no longer accessible.

The paper reported He's age to be 14 this past May, although that was quickly corrected. In a statement, He herself backs the party line,

"my real age is 16. I don't pay any attention to what everyone says."

Because, of course, her word and her Chinese-government-issued passport is proof enough (end sarcasm here). Granted, she won and won going away, even at whatever-age-she-is. There is no question about that.

The question is not just, "Are the Chinese playing by the same rules for age?" You should be able to guess what my answer is to that. The question really is, "Are the Chinese abiding by ALL the rules?"

How else might they be cheating? Frankly, without an open society or viable third-party verification, we will never know He's age as it has been lost in the misty and redacted past of state revisionism.

Is it me or does the Chinese "women's" gymnastics team look like a slumber party of 10 year olds? There is no way they can be older than 12...13, maybe.

Mrs FF tells me they do things in China where the girls are taken from their families at 3 and subjected to hormone treatments to delay their periods and things like that.

And this is the spirit of amateur sport?

Filed under the Olympic Patriotism Department.

We watched the men's gymnastics team went through the high bar last night (aside: why only one for them and not two like the women? Did somebody say, "No sissy two bars for us! Just one solitary, manly rod of steel to hang like an ape from."). I was on the edge of my seat as Spring was flying through the air, seriously, it just looked like the guy was borderline crazy and out-of-control. Then when Horton stuck his landing, I basically Kermit-the-Frogged-screamed.

Of course, for those of you scoring at home, it was disappointing to watch the team fold like napkins in the floor and horse. Still, they did well enough to secure a medal and even appeared for a moment to be in contention to pull off one of the biggest upsets in Olympic history for the silver.

Congrats.

4x100 swim relay team.

Excuse me, that should be the world-recording holding, Gold-medal winning, French-smacking, wave-drafting, chest-pounding American 4x100 swim relay team.

HOLY FREAKIN' COW.

How is it possible to out-swim the freestyle world-record holder over the last 25 meters? That was impressive, improbable, impossible, impressive, unforgettable, unreal, unbelievable, unimaginable. I cannot imagine how Lezak pulled it off because I thought at the turn he was a goner.

Oi.

That it was against the smack-talking French...yeah, well that's just extra icing (butter?) on the croissant. Prenez que vous claquez les Français parlants! (tanks Babblefish for the most-likely hacked up and mutilated translation)

This will rank #2 in my Olympic moments behind, of course, the Miracle on Ice.

So, I've been reading some X-Men the last couple of weeks after last reading issue 239 (They just issued 500).

All I have to say is, "WHEN THE HECK DID EMMA FROST BECOME CYCLOP'S MAIN SQUEEZE?" Yeesh. I don't know if I should be pleased or not--the story arcs I remember all involved Jean Grey and Scott Summers, and it seems this the whole "bad girl" sub-plot panders a bit. After all, she tends to run about in lingerie.

Now I know why all those Emma Frost sculptures were big at the San Diego Comic-Con.

Thumbs up. That is all, return to your normally scheduled surfing.

(Who's getting it?)

ETA: Um, BeeDle...not BeeTle. Either that or I should also order a copy of the collected comics of Beedle Bailey.

Now I'm so going to have to get out to Dodger Stadium so I can bang on the outfield wall from the bleachers while yelling at Manny. Dude, how cool is THAT? I get to watch him pee on the warning track!